yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
