i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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