I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Come share oat with me in your robe
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
