Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
