so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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