how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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