I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
