He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
