So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
