I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
