How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
