I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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