I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
