I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
