in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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