i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I've blown a few things in my day
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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