butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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