I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize