I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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