that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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