I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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