Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
