she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So squirting runs in the family.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
