Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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