This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
