I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
