broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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