So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
worst night to have a conscience
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
