There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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