That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
