My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
