i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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