my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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