for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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