we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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