hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize