I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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