plz talk dirty to me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
that's an acceptable place to lick
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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