i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
