After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
