youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
