the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
