In the future we'll all be gay
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
