bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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