So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
