I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize