Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
