The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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