You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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