i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
