p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
