Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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