sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I intend to get homeless drunk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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