The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
