my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
