she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
