Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
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He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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