Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
