The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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