when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
