Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
