Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
