theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
