I think i peed on brittanys purse
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
