I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize