This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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