i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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