Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize