She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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