she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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