I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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